Share Your Unhelpful Experiences

Thank you for visiting this section of the website, if you are here it may well be because you have something that you would like to share with us and our Monarch Butterfly visitors.

Sharing your unhelpful experiences can be a useful tool, a valuable resource for you to get your voice heard and in the meantime help others along the way. We do not operate a name and shame policy here at Monarch Butterfly however we do believe that service experiences should be shared, whether helpful or unhelpful. It is via this process of transparency that changes will ripple throughout the services provided for those diagnosed with Personality Disorder and their carers.


Sharing your experiences, particularly if they have been unhelpful, can be very difficult, even to the point that it may make you feel worse than you already do feel. We would encourage you to share when you have the strength to do so and would certainly not want you to spiral into crisis, that is simply not worth it, is it? We would urge you to share when you are in a good place and possibly have a friend or family member that can help you through the process.

Service User shares lived experienceI have personally struggled hugely with local services that have been providing a very poor service. There is a theme that is trickling throughout the service, it appears that there is a view point that ‘Personality Disorder, BPD’ is not an illness. Until recently I had been confused as to why there appeared to be a very ‘lax’ approach to providing support where I have asked for help, and then recently I attended a half day course on Ethnicity and Mental Health in order to be in a position to advance this website and the audience it serves. It was there that I learnt that an ‘influential’ person within the local services holds that view, that Personality Disorder, BPD is not an illness. If that is what he thinks, you can bet your bottom dollar that is what is being filtered throughout to other individuals. I found that experience very triggering, I was in disbelief and wanted to flat walk straight out of the room but within milliseconds had dozens of scenarios running through my head.. ‘I will just be a bad example if I walk, demonstrating a lack of ability to exercise calm, amidst what I would consider to be  a shallow and invalidating point of view’… It was very difficult, I wrote to this healthcare professional and have posted that on our ‘Read about our visitors unhelpful experiences’ page.

If you would like to share your experience, please give consideration to the following before contacting us:

  • Take good care of yourself and know that it is okay to put your sharing on hold until you can do so without getting too upset, be conscious that sharing when matters are still raw can be triggering and make things worse for you
  • Please only share information that is not too personal in nature
  • We advise that you use a pseudonym, however this is your experience so if you want to share your first name then go ahead
  • Do not share individuals names with us, we can not share those online and it will not benefit anyone, we will however, post the name of a hospital, your local services, or Healthcare Trust. Our policy is not to breed a culture of blame, it is to highlight experiences for learning and the purpose of improvement of services. If a common theme begins to merge, we may decide to contact the services directly to let them know that they have feedback that should be given consideration.
  • We recommend that you write up your experience using word, notepad or a similar program, saving as you go, then copy and paste the body of content into our comments box or attach your word document
  • Monarch Butterfly respect your privacy and will not share your details with a third party, however if we are concerned about your wellbeing or the wellbeing of someone else we may need to use the information we have to try to get you some help
  • Please bare in mind that our email is not what we would consider to be a ‘protected’ facility, we would advise that you are cautious when sharing your information via any email services

Please visit our Terms of Use page for complete guidelines and restrictions.

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